“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?” Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of god. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are born to make manifest the glory of god that is within us. It is not just in some of us. It is in everyone. And as we let our light shine, we give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” Marianne Williamson
What a glorious quote on self-esteem and it is one of my favourites too! We are not born to be cowards or to be slaves.
The definition of Self development according to the Oxford Dictionaries is, “the process by which a person’s character or abilities are gradually developed”.
Sadly, it is easy to live life in pint size, being submissive, being a non-entity and being just one drop among the massive crowd. I wonder why some people live like this, especially the whole world can be at one’s feet, when only one assert oneself; display one’s mightiness, knowledge and power to the world at large. I wonder why?
The following tips shall help you with the improvement of your self improvement and self esteem.
- Self confidence in small doses: Plan a small self improvement component in your day today, like a firm handshake with your boss, looking someone directly in the eyes, speaking in a steady voice in an official meet, giving a presentation on an official matter, approach some one whom you are in awe of and talk to him in measured tones and well, choose what you want to do today. Anything in small measures but in added proportions on a daily basis shall help you in improving on your self development program.
- Plan for something bigger: Create a goal towards a bigger achievement, make a note of it, chart out a deadline and follow through it till the end. Move on to the next goal. Writing your goals down and keeping it around you in your wallet or bag and referring them time and again, shall help in reaching the goals well in time and with a firm resolution.
- Failure and Persistence: Persistence in achieving your goal shall improve on your self esteem. It’s ok to fail or to face hindrances and road block. Just try and do it. Michael Jordan said something amazing: “I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” Overwhelming lesson here for anyone who is listening!
- Mistakes: Not all your endeavours will become a success. Learning from your mistakes shall help in avoiding the pitfalls at the next round.
- Weakness: Understand your weakness and accept it. Even lion has its weakness. It cannot run as fast as gazelles and cheetahs, though it is the King of the Jungle. Acknowledge your weakness firmly and progress despite your weakness by accepting it and adopting it for the better.
- Understand your real worth and not your imaginary low self esteem: You are generally worth more than you think you are. Ask your family and close friends.
- Survival: Learn to survive. Bowing down when there is a real need is acceptable as long as it does not become a habit.
- Expect Changes in your life: Just like the mice in the amazing book “Who Moved My Cheese?” always expect changes, accept changes, adopt well with them and move on.
- Faith: Have hope in your heart and faith in your abilities and the combination of the two shall proper you forward to achieve any goals of yours.
- Body Language: Improve on your verbal and non-verbal body language, because it speaks volumes to the others even better than the spoken words.
- Read inspirational stuff and watch inspirational videos like 212 The Extra Degree, Don’t Quit Poem, The Winning Movie, The Race Movie etc. These are just a handful few of thousands of inspirational stuff available all over the net. Make use of them and get propelled by such a firing squad.
Self Confidence doesn’t develop overnight. It shall have to be nurtured, practised and then shall have to be shown around in public. The above tips shall help you immensely in developing your self confidence.
Q I loose heart if I don’t achieve something after a few tries and leave it at that. Guess I shall have to practice persistence.
Well, your question has a component of an answer in it. It’s easy to loose heart. I wouldn’t blame you. That’s what most people do. But when you are on a path of self development, you should pursue what you had intended to do till the end. Isn’t it?
It’s not difficult to gain back your confidence levels and killer instincts and become highly successful in whatever you do. So aspire to get inspired and confidently walk towards your goal and achieve victory in whatever you do.
We are born to achieve great things, to live life in full and should live “where the mind is without fear and the head is held high”, gratefully borrow from Rabindranath Tagore’s thoughts.