Feeling depressed, feeling empty or lonely inside may happen due to various reasons; the loss of spouse, divorce, the empty nest syndrome, the infidelity of the spouse, the indifferent attitude from the family members, the financial crisis, a prolonged illness, the deep winter months, low self esteem and more.
Let’s look at the following few tips to manage your inner engineering:
1. Handling Loneliness and emptiness: Loneliness is the mind numbing feeling of expression, which is trapped inside and which you are unable to share with the people you would like to, due to one reason or the other. It could be due to the loss of some one very close to you and the feeling of overwhelming sadness and the resultant pain and hurt. It could even be the physical loneliness and your need for sharing the salt with some one during your regular meals.
The obvious remedy for this is to reach out to people and enrol them in your remedial list.
2. Start visiting people: Sometimes, you will be surprised to find that people don’t reach out to you because of their own circumstances and not out of any specific reason against you.
They would well be struggling under their own stress factors, their awkward work schedule, their household problems and issues and more. Hence, you could reach out to them and open up the communication channels.
4. Network with the world: Becoming active in the social networking sites would be an amazing remedy to the feeling of emptiness or loneliness.
5. Volunteer: Locate NGOs who caters to the interests of the people of your age and issues; whether widowed, divorced, lost some one close to you or being a senior person with physical illness, you start working with them. You will find it a soothing remedy to your hurt feelings.
6. Reach out to the virtual world: Make the word wide web as your knowledge centre; do some research, learn a lot of new things, donate to the cause of wonderful knowledge based sites. Write for them or type out their books or repair errors in their grammar.
Send E-Greetings or mails to sites where the members would be glad to receive a mail even from an anonymous person. The dark side of the world is full of people longing to hear a word from some one or longing to exchange a few words with some one. Shine a ray of happiness on them. Give them a few precious minutes of happiness. Your darkness will get lifted out of you automatically.
Women are more prone to depression than men. They are emotionally vulnerable and there is this trap door to depression waiting for them to trip on, merely on the onset of hurt, pain or any unwanted emotional circumstances in their lives.
They go through depression during pregnancy, during menopause, due to their poor body image, due to miscarriage, due to empty nest syndrome, continued negative feelings, stress and even due to their multi-tasking deficiencies.
They want to be so perfect in whatever they do that even their own inefficiency in completing a task or handling a situation gives raise to their feeling of ‘being down in the dumps’.
a. Stop blaming yourself and Start Moving: Do not watch depressing soap operas or cry with the helpless women in the movies over junk food on your sofa; get out of your home and get some sunshine and fresh air. Walk on and on till you feel tired looking at people and places. This will take your mind off for a while. Make it a habit. Stop blaming yourself for whatever had happened that had made you out to be a victim or a villain in the past.
b. Reach out to people: Call people and establish contact with friends and relatives you rely on the most. Share your inner engineering with them and win some consolation prizes. This will boost your morale. No need to tell your sob story time and again. Once is enough and move on to the next stage of gossiping, shopping, going out to films and theatricals with them; visit a restaurant all the way to the other part of the city for lunch. Get to know people around you, while you go for walking or shopping. Saying Hello to the people your instinct trusts may help too.
c. Try to deviate from the usual: Take a new route to work and observe the details on the way. Stop using your car for a couple of weeks and take a metro or an auto just for a change. Experience the inexperienced. If you customarily wear only suits, change to casuals and try saris. Say hello to your watchman, postman and your milk man, if any. Surprise some one you like a lot with a gift and enjoy the expression on their face. Do the undone and do with fire and passion.
d. Reach for healthy food and sleep: Replace the unhealthy food with healthy food. Exchange milk for cola. Increase the intake of water and aim for a good night’s sleep too.
Q. I am depressed all the time; I am unable to take care of my family well and am unable to handle my official tasks well too. I sometimes feel so useless and incapable of being successful at anything. I just don’t know to whom to turn to. Can you help me on this?
First, wipe away your unworthy and inefficiency feelings. You are worth more. Do you sincerely feel that they keep you at work if you are not capable of handing your work efficiently?
Most of the working women feel guilty about their home management and nourishment of their families. It’s alright if you feel so too. It does not mean that it’s true.
You should ask the opinion of your family about you. They will tell you how inevitable you are for their happiness and life. Realize your self-worthiness.
Finally, if this feeling of depression continues, you should enlist the help of a medical professional as well.
There are so many ways of handling your inner demons; it is as easy for you to occupy them as it is for them to occupy your inner self.
“A pearl is a beautiful thing that is produced by an injured life. It is the tear (that result) from the injury of the oyster. The treasure of our being in this world is also produced by an injured life. If we had not been wounded, if we had not been injured, then we will not produce the pearl.”
- Stephan Hoeller
Remember Women! You are worth-more!
Book – Overcoming Depression