Gossiping on a positive note: A Breather of Fresh Air!
The word Gossip reminds me of Page 3 of the newspapers; the so-called personality and film related gossip (entertainment) programs of the TV Channels; the glossy murmurs of the film magazines, tabloids etc. They are meant to be taken on a lighter vein; still it’s just not a feel good factor to a lot of people!
However, gossip can be used in a positive way as well. Just as the back of the same coin and it would do volume of good to you as well as to the others.
1. Always say nice things about people behind their backs:
What is told in the ear of a man is often heard 100 miles away.
- Chinese Proverb
It’s not a rocket science, is it? Remember good things about people; however bad they are, every one must have a few good things about them in anyway; highlight only about their plus points, while talking about them to the others.
Even Hitler was said nice things about him by the others:
“… he (Hitler) has succeeded in restoring Germany to the most powerful position in Europe, and not only has he restored the position of his country, but he has even, to a very great extent, reversed the results of the Great War … whatever else may be thought about these exploits they are certainly among the most remarkable in the whole history of the world.”
Am sure, you would be able to find a couple of nice things about people and spread the word about them around them. When it will reach the ears of the recipients, you create a good impression on them. They may speak well of you as well. If it will become a habit with you, you will have a group of well wishers wherever you go!
2. Steer conversation from negative to positive effects: When someone speaks ill of “someone else”, just say a few good things about that “someone else” to reverse the effects of the bad mouthing. The gossiper may hesitate to continue further on the ill-will road, and you may divert the conversation to another topic.
3. Spurt in the self confidence: Research shows that mainly people with low self esteem speaks ill of the others. When you consciously indulge in positive gossiping, both your self esteem and the self esteem of the recipient shall improve. Self Esteem is the basis of the all round personality development.
4. It stretches your imagination from a selfish “Me” to a wonderful “We”: When you start on the positive gossiping track, you stop thinking of yourself and start spreading the light about others all around the place. A light has the tendency of throwing off the darkness, fear and loneliness; it brings in feelings of warmth, happiness and positivity. Spread light and spread warmth and happiness all around you.
5. Emails:US Social Scientists had analyzed the thousands of emails belonging to the former Enron Energy Trading Company and had found that 1 out of every 7 Emails at work had indulged in gossip; negative gossip was more prevalent by 2.7 times than positive gossip.
These findings are more or less applicable to any organization in the corporate world.
As Emails are almost equivalent to direct interaction, albeit in written words, you can reverse the efforts of negative mails and infuse some positivity in your mails which will create a ripple effect along the shores on the recipient side of the mail.
6. Improve some one’s credibility: Positve gossiping improves on some one’s credibility through the worthy words spoken by you about them. Your praise may help them to get over their complex, (inferiority) if any; it will also help to bring in the positive energy into the home, work and other places and shall help in maintaining your status of well being.
7. Forgive: Not being able to forgive someone who has hurt us also gives birth to negative gossip. Forgiving some one helps you to stop talking about them in a wrong way.
Q There is a group of people at my work, who always indulge in negative gossiping as though “aimed to degrade all and sundry”. As they are from my eastern wing, I am unable to avoid them as well. Most of the time, I can’t stomach listening to such nonsense about the others. I just wouldn’t know what to do?
Of course you know: as you are a fairly decent person, you wouldn’t want to hurt the people whose gossip is “aimed to degrade all and sundry”.
Somehow, you should try to avoid such people like plague and virus. Start slowly!
On the onset of their, “Classic syndrome”, you start pretending as though you are busy with work, busy on the phone, busy having engrossed into your files, busy getting a cup of coffee, busy scratching on the notepad, busy locating another colleague or busy trying to clarify a point with your boss etc.
Team up with a few positive people and hang out with them. Am sure, there must at least be a couple of people like you, good and constructive at your work.
Take your lunch from outside for some time or with the people whom you like at least vaguely!
They may get your point; of course, you may become a part of their gossip next! Don’t give them any important. Just move on with your career.
If it gets worse, ask for a transfer to another wing or department in your organization.
Gossiping is idle talk or sensational talk whereas backbiting is unsporting attack behind a person’s back.
Gossiping can be termed as a harmless way of venting frustration and sharing insecurities. Backbiting is speaking against someone with evil heart.
Q How can gossiping be positive?
As long as Gossiping is not malicious or irresponsible rumour-mongering, it is not exactly a bad thing. Infact, many firms are supporting ‘water cooler conversations’. Few minutes of gossiping near water cooler can help you beat stress. And this gossip can even be talking about your kids or boyfriend.
Talking about others in a wrong way can never be right! When that boomerang comes back to haunt you, it would hurt, wouldn’t it?
However, Positive Gossiping is constructive, effective, uplifting and helps you in your well-being, apart from helping others to feel good about them.
Go ahead, indulge in Gossip; let it just be all positive!
E-Book - The Visual Impact of Gossip
Book – Good Gossip