Your cute son, all of seven comes back home from school and you notice a few differences that you had noticed
last week also. For one, he is wearing a cap backward. Two; his cute little cowboy shirt is un-tucked and there is a make belief chain made of silver paper around his neck and his wrist. Last but not the least, his shoes are unlaced.
Oh, yes! His new name is Matt-Dogg and he insists to be called this all times from today, as he wants to be a famous rapper. By the way, I hope that you had not forgotten that last week, the erstwhile Matt-Dogg was Indiana Jones, as he wanted to be an actor.
So ladies, welcome to such ironical and many more situations of parenthood, which are guaranteed to stump you every minute of the day. Like the above-mentioned case did. The problem with such a situation is that, you neither know whether to support your child or oppose your child’s ideas and uniqueness.
Saying that striking a balance between both is easy enough. However, implementing the same effectively is rocket science of a different kind. Hence, you ought to know what to do and we are here to help you.
I will clear it outright that there is no hard and fast rule, which will help you to be a good parent. This is not algebra that you can substitute a particular formula and get away with step marking, even if the answer is wrong.
• Free Rope: Smothering your kid with what you have always wanted will never make you a successful parent. It does take considerable technique to embed your ideas and thoughts into your children. Please do not force them to do everything that you think is right. Let them explore and come up with something. Also, try to implant family values and certain rules right from the beginning so that it might someday be implemented successfully.
• Embrace the Difference: If you love your child and do not want them to hide things from you, try to like what they like. If you think that your kid will be a ballet dancer, because you are, or go to Princeton, just because all of your family did will crush your views once you discover that your child is different.
• The Art of Saying No: If you think that saying yes to everything your kid is doing will make you a good parent, now is the time you change that view. Supporting or giving plenty of free rope to your kid does not necessarily mean to let them do whatever they want. Therefore, make sure that you learn to say no on some instances.
• Listen: Hear out to your child’s views because things are tough for them too. Forcing your views upon them would only worsen things.
• Be popular: Try to be popular by mixing with her or his friends and playgroups.
• When do I know that my kid is a problem child?
When you find yourself tired of negotiating with every little thing that is going on into your child’s life. He is unable to focus on things and behaves very differently, which could be too aggressive or too subdued.
• Sometimes I yell at my kids and they usually end up crying. Is there any way to stop?
The best thing to do would be to practise talking with your child. Ask yourself and try to analyse in a cool mind, what makes you so short tempered or “what made me shout like that?” Take the help of your spouse as well.
• How do I control the temper of my child, when she refuses to listen to me?
Very important is you stay calm. Don’t react. Try to distract her. Look for the reason of her anger. Try talking to her about it, once she has cool down.
Being a parent is not easy and trust me, it will never be easier. What you should try to do is, make sure that you celebrate and reward their successes and punish their extra nosiness. However, overdoing any of them will be bad for both you and your child.
In beautiful words of William D. Tammeus:
“You don’t really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around – and why his parents will always wave back.”